Twenty Years later……..The Day that Changed My Life

 

me 3 weeks after Brain Surgery Dec.1991

     As the days drew closer, I became more excited about this day, because I knew this would be the day that would change my life forever. Not knowing….. How my life would be forever changed? That was the scariest part of it all. Will I survive without side effects? Will I survive with side effects? Worst yet, will I die? Brain Surgery would change my life in a way I would not know until I woke up, if I wake up? It was a day I will never forget.

     It was Dec.5, 1991. There were several events that led me to this day in my life. I distinctly remember this day. I had to be at the hospital the day before for pre-operative procedures. It was that day that I prayed to God, that he may do what he saw fit, but I asked only that if I were to live I could live a decent life. I did not want to be brain dead or like a woman I saw after her surgery where she wanted to be waited on hand and foot with no side effects from her surgery.    There were three possible side effects that could hhappen. I had 3% chance of having a heart attack, a stroke or losing my peripheral vision. The morning of surgery I had to have my beautiful long hair shaved completely off. I was not scared until I heard my mom nearby, then I became NERVOUS. My OR (operating room) nurse was wonderful. She said, “If you like, I’ll hold your hand through the entire surgery”. I said, “Yes I’d like that.”
       During the operation I had a slight stroke. That was the moment I died for a brief minute or two. That is when I was floating above my body, which lay on the operating table. I could see the doctors and nurses work diligently on my lifeless body. I was kept in a medically induced coma for a few days on the third day I awoke. I woke up from a long sleep a changed person, mentally, physically and emotionally. My life was altered in a way I did not understand. I just knew my life would never be the same. My life from then on out was averted to pure determination. My attitude changed 180 degrees. My body was different as well.
     I would have to learn to do so much all over again like a baby does. I was determined to conquer each one. The first was to walk again with partial paralysis on the left side of my body. I learned to walk with a large quad cane first. It was a process I took day by day. It took me nine months to gain back my ability to where I could walk without a gait belt. Life after brain surgery made me even more determined to graduate from high school. I fought hard to earn my high school diploma. I even had to fight the school district to get it. It was several months after graduation that I obtained my diploma. I graduated in May2011 from University of Maryland University College with my Bachelors of Science in MGMT with a concentration in Philosophy.      In conclusion two important things came from this day. First, I became closer in my relationship with God and with my parents. Secondly, I gained a new respective towards life. I would not trade this day for anything. It has taught me so much and has made me a stronger and better person. My life is definitely better today, even with a disability. This day changed my life forever in many ways. Never give up on your hopes and dreams. Keep shooting for the stars no matter how long it takes you to get there!!

    In the 20 years I have learned  from God that there is No why Me? I am not entitled to anything. He loves me and he has given me the ability to forgive all the past hurts that was done to me by others and I feel no hate, resentment, or anger towards those people who caused it. But I also learned thru forgiveness does not mean I trust them or do I need to like them it means I am able to let go and move forward in my life. I took control back of my life. I know thru God all things are possible.  I know this I have big dreams and aspiratrions and I will continue to fight for a job or eventually just open my own business so I can live my life according to gods will.  I am just grateful for everything I have in my life. I am thankfu; to have such wonderful parents here on earth and for  great friends and   for a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters!   Who of thought I get this far in life. Many told me I would npt graduate Highschool nor college. I am here to tell you anyone can do anything they put their mind to it  with faith, hope and god  you can do it!! I cant believe it has been 20 years already! Heres to another 20 years! When I die for good. I want to leave a legacy behind about my positiveness, of laughter,  of helping others and a sense of you can accomplish whatever you want in this life. I want people to see  that life can be happy regardless the circumstance!

 me Nov.2011